A Wedding and A Marichyasana B

I got married last sunday! I have been really busy for the past few weeks due to the wedding and whatnot which is why I haven't been posting or practicing as much. Now that the wedding is a week and a half behind me, I finally have the time and presence of mind to be able to reflect on my practice.

If you've been following the blog (and not just looking at the pictures) you might remember that I have been having a lot of trouble with that damnable Marichyasana B. For the first few months of being stuck, I took the opportunity to cultivate a non-grasping attitude and to smother my selfish ambitions. However, a couple weeks before the wedding I started to get frustrated and angry. The binding seemed so far away that I thought I'd never be able to get it on my own. I started to loathe that part of my practice, and performing Mari B three times on each side felt like treading water in the ocean while swallowing a spoonful of terrible medicine and being mauled by a seafaring gorilla. I resented my stiff fat body and its inability to perform binds that everyone else in my class can perform with ease.

After the brief post-wedding honeymoon (during which we got into a car accident while en route; long story) I got back to the shala feeling much refreshed and relaxed. I think the relaxation helped a bit as I was able to bind two out of three times on the left side without any assistance! This was heartening as I had only been able to perform that once before at Manju's workshop. It made me realize that as long as I continue to practice, I will make progress even if it is slower than I want. I believe Jois said something about that...

Also, as I was doing a gmail search for something entirely unrelated, I came across this chat transcript with my very close friend who is an authorized mysore teacher in san fran, dated March 8:

me: i think i'm like maybe

2 cm away from fingers touching on one side

in Mari A

and like maybe 8 cm on the other

Somehow in my frustration with Mari B, I had completely forgotten that I experienced a similar difficulty with Mari A which I overcame through steady practice. When I read that, I felt a sudden relief mixed with a tinge of shame - why had I been doubting myself and the practice? And worse - why did I let that doubt turn into anger and frustration?

I still don't have the bind, but I am making demonstrable progress. Today I bound on the left side 3/3 times, and although I still feel miles away on the right side, I know that I am making progress.

Ironically, I spend a lot of time telling students in my kung fu classes that the tree of martial arts is slow to climb and yields its fruit reluctantly. I also am constantly telling them to relax their trapezoids. I need to listen to my own advice!

PS. Does anyone have any advice on how to turn the foot out in Janu Shirshasana C? I can never really seem to firmly plant my big toe, and my foot is nowhere close to perpendicular to the floor. I just don't really see how to get more rotation without twisting at the knee...