Hello blogreaders. It has been a very long time, and much has happened.
I haven't been posting because I got a new boss at work - he has been working me pretty hard and I haven't had any space left in my brain for blogging after work is done. The past month has been exhausting. Working late, working weekends, working working working... At least it pays the bills.
When I haven't been working, I have been preparing for a kung fu tournament coming up this saturday! I have been training really hard, and between training and working, I'm afraid yoga has been pushed to the side a little bit. I began the month of August with a plan to only to maintain the yoga I had and not push things at all.
Yoga is pretty ironic. As you may remember, I have been really working hard at getting consistent binds in Marichyasana B. When August began, I decided to stop caring and stop getting frustrated with Mari B. Instead, I'd just do my time and attempt the binds and be completely unattached to the result. The first practice that I approached with this mindset was actually pretty incredible. Without being attached to the postures, I found myself focused solely on breathing properly and deeply, and using the postures as tools for relaxation. My forward folds were not as deep as usual and overall the practice was not as physically demanding, yet it was satisfying in a different way. When it was time for Marichyasana B, I inhaled slowly, exhaled softly, reached, and my fingers met without any effort. That which I had been straining for months to accomplish I finally reached by letting go of the effort. Yoga really is a unique practice.
Anyway, as the month went went on, I became consistent on both sides in Mari B and moved on to Mari C. I can't get the bind on Mari C without considerable wrenching on the part of my poor yoga teacher, who I outweigh by at least 40 pounds. But at least I'm not frustrated by the whole thing anymore. I haven't been practicing that consistently either - just once last week, and I missed practice already today. But I have been getting good sleep, eating properly, working hard, and training my little kung fu heart out.
Yoga will still be there when I come back to it in earnest.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
A Wedding and A Marichyasana B
I got married last sunday! I have been really busy for the past few weeks due to the wedding and whatnot which is why I haven't been posting or practicing as much. Now that the wedding is a week and a half behind me, I finally have the time and presence of mind to be able to reflect on my practice.
If you've been following the blog (and not just looking at the pictures) you might remember that I have been having a lot of trouble with that damnable Marichyasana B. For the first few months of being stuck, I took the opportunity to cultivate a non-grasping attitude and to smother my selfish ambitions. However, a couple weeks before the wedding I started to get frustrated and angry. The binding seemed so far away that I thought I'd never be able to get it on my own. I started to loathe that part of my practice, and performing Mari B three times on each side felt like treading water in the ocean while swallowing a spoonful of terrible medicine and being mauled by a seafaring gorilla. I resented my stiff fat body and its inability to perform binds that everyone else in my class can perform with ease.
After the brief post-wedding honeymoon (during which we got into a car accident while en route; long story) I got back to the shala feeling much refreshed and relaxed. I think the relaxation helped a bit as I was able to bind two out of three times on the left side without any assistance! This was heartening as I had only been able to perform that once before at Manju's workshop. It made me realize that as long as I continue to practice, I will make progress even if it is slower than I want. I believe Jois said something about that...
Also, as I was doing a gmail search for something entirely unrelated, I came across this chat transcript with my very close friend who is an authorized mysore teacher in san fran, dated March 8:
me: i think i'm like maybe
Somehow in my frustration with Mari B, I had completely forgotten that I experienced a similar difficulty with Mari A which I overcame through steady practice. When I read that, I felt a sudden relief mixed with a tinge of shame - why had I been doubting myself and the practice? And worse - why did I let that doubt turn into anger and frustration?
I still don't have the bind, but I am making demonstrable progress. Today I bound on the left side 3/3 times, and although I still feel miles away on the right side, I know that I am making progress.
Ironically, I spend a lot of time telling students in my kung fu classes that the tree of martial arts is slow to climb and yields its fruit reluctantly. I also am constantly telling them to relax their trapezoids. I need to listen to my own advice!
PS. Does anyone have any advice on how to turn the foot out in Janu Shirshasana C? I can never really seem to firmly plant my big toe, and my foot is nowhere close to perpendicular to the floor. I just don't really see how to get more rotation without twisting at the knee...
If you've been following the blog (and not just looking at the pictures) you might remember that I have been having a lot of trouble with that damnable Marichyasana B. For the first few months of being stuck, I took the opportunity to cultivate a non-grasping attitude and to smother my selfish ambitions. However, a couple weeks before the wedding I started to get frustrated and angry. The binding seemed so far away that I thought I'd never be able to get it on my own. I started to loathe that part of my practice, and performing Mari B three times on each side felt like treading water in the ocean while swallowing a spoonful of terrible medicine and being mauled by a seafaring gorilla. I resented my stiff fat body and its inability to perform binds that everyone else in my class can perform with ease.
After the brief post-wedding honeymoon (during which we got into a car accident while en route; long story) I got back to the shala feeling much refreshed and relaxed. I think the relaxation helped a bit as I was able to bind two out of three times on the left side without any assistance! This was heartening as I had only been able to perform that once before at Manju's workshop. It made me realize that as long as I continue to practice, I will make progress even if it is slower than I want. I believe Jois said something about that...
Also, as I was doing a gmail search for something entirely unrelated, I came across this chat transcript with my very close friend who is an authorized mysore teacher in san fran, dated March 8:
me: i think i'm like maybe
2 cm away from fingers touching on one side
in Mari A
and like maybe 8 cm on the other
I still don't have the bind, but I am making demonstrable progress. Today I bound on the left side 3/3 times, and although I still feel miles away on the right side, I know that I am making progress.
Ironically, I spend a lot of time telling students in my kung fu classes that the tree of martial arts is slow to climb and yields its fruit reluctantly. I also am constantly telling them to relax their trapezoids. I need to listen to my own advice!
PS. Does anyone have any advice on how to turn the foot out in Janu Shirshasana C? I can never really seem to firmly plant my big toe, and my foot is nowhere close to perpendicular to the floor. I just don't really see how to get more rotation without twisting at the knee...
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
two more yogamans
Any idea why it feels like my back is literally burning when I do this posture? It feels like so much heat.
So hard to bind...
Friday, July 1, 2011
A Tale of Two Temperaments
As I have mentioned before, I started yoga out of curiosity but also as a way to improve my kung fu. The two have synergized really nicely and seem to go hand in hand for me.
However, something happened recently which really made me aware of how different the two disciplines are. I was teaching a mixed age kung fu class, and one of the students asked me about some ground techniques, namely, how to choke someone on the floor with your legs. I asked a newly minted instructor for some help demonstrating and so we got on the floor to explain the "triangle choke". For some reason, this other instructor (who is about 18) decided to turn the quick instructional demo into a wrestling match (what a hothead!) and so he picked me up and dropped me on my neck a few times. This only succeeded in really pissing me off, so we grappled some more until he gave up. My neck hurt for days afterwards, including during my manju workshop.
This made me pretty angry. He shouldn't have engaged in free sparring of any kind in that context. Children were running around and could have been hurt! Also, I hate having to deal with unnecessary injury. Aches and pains are part of the deal when practicing martial arts, but I try to protect myself to minimize such things. I vowed revenge.
Sure enough, an opportunity arose for me to exact retribution for his misdeeds. We were holding controlled sparring sessions, so I got in line and just happened to be paired up with the hothead who injured me. I am ten years his senior but still well within my prime and easily defeated him. I finished the fight with a nice jab to the stomach which left him bent over gasping for breath. I went home feeling satisfied that we were even and regaled my friends with a tale of domination over my opponents.
The very next morning I woke up early and went to yoga. As soon as I started on my standing postures, I realized that my mind was struggling to adjust to the change in pace and attitude. My practice was really unfocused as my aggressive mindstate sharply contrasted with the peaceful yoga practice.
I don't feel bad about what happened in kung fu. While I am a vegetarian and try to practice ahimsa in regards to all living creatures great and small, I think that the violence of kung fu is primarily a method of sharpening and controlling the mind. Kung fu is a practice for pacifists, and learning to use your body as a tool of violence is ultimately a meditation on the nature of peace. In essence, I think some of the goals of yoga and kung fu are identical - we all strive to cease the vibrations of the mind. But the path to that goal is so different in many respects, and sometimes I find it jarring to practice both.
PS. after i beat his ass earlier this week, he and i have cooled things out and are once again friendly colleagues. it's like in elementary school where you fight with your friend and then ten minutes later it's back on the bikes.
However, something happened recently which really made me aware of how different the two disciplines are. I was teaching a mixed age kung fu class, and one of the students asked me about some ground techniques, namely, how to choke someone on the floor with your legs. I asked a newly minted instructor for some help demonstrating and so we got on the floor to explain the "triangle choke". For some reason, this other instructor (who is about 18) decided to turn the quick instructional demo into a wrestling match (what a hothead!) and so he picked me up and dropped me on my neck a few times. This only succeeded in really pissing me off, so we grappled some more until he gave up. My neck hurt for days afterwards, including during my manju workshop.
This made me pretty angry. He shouldn't have engaged in free sparring of any kind in that context. Children were running around and could have been hurt! Also, I hate having to deal with unnecessary injury. Aches and pains are part of the deal when practicing martial arts, but I try to protect myself to minimize such things. I vowed revenge.
Sure enough, an opportunity arose for me to exact retribution for his misdeeds. We were holding controlled sparring sessions, so I got in line and just happened to be paired up with the hothead who injured me. I am ten years his senior but still well within my prime and easily defeated him. I finished the fight with a nice jab to the stomach which left him bent over gasping for breath. I went home feeling satisfied that we were even and regaled my friends with a tale of domination over my opponents.
The very next morning I woke up early and went to yoga. As soon as I started on my standing postures, I realized that my mind was struggling to adjust to the change in pace and attitude. My practice was really unfocused as my aggressive mindstate sharply contrasted with the peaceful yoga practice.
I don't feel bad about what happened in kung fu. While I am a vegetarian and try to practice ahimsa in regards to all living creatures great and small, I think that the violence of kung fu is primarily a method of sharpening and controlling the mind. Kung fu is a practice for pacifists, and learning to use your body as a tool of violence is ultimately a meditation on the nature of peace. In essence, I think some of the goals of yoga and kung fu are identical - we all strive to cease the vibrations of the mind. But the path to that goal is so different in many respects, and sometimes I find it jarring to practice both.
PS. after i beat his ass earlier this week, he and i have cooled things out and are once again friendly colleagues. it's like in elementary school where you fight with your friend and then ten minutes later it's back on the bikes.
Friday, June 24, 2011
damn yo, that was a rough week
My dirty little yoga secret is that I don't actually practice 6x per week. I only go to class on monday, wednesday, and friday. Sometimes I practice on saturday (!) if I skip a class during the week, or I'll practice on a moonday. Sometimes I'll skip class and not make it up at all. During my second yoga class ever, the teacher (who subsequently left the school and who I saw only that one class) told me two things: Trust the Practice, and Do Not Skip Days. Sorry, Patty!
Last Sunday I made a goal to attend yoga class every day this week as an experiment. I wanted to see if I could really wake up at 5:15 five days a week while also practicing kung fu, commuting via bicycle, and working 8-9 hours every day.
Turns out that it is possible, but not pleasant. I have been constantly exhausted this week, I was sick on thursday, I have had a bit of shoulder pain, and somehow my jaw got strained. I have been drinking tons of coffee and have been grouchy in the evenings. I consider these to be growing pains.
On the other hand, the yoga has been damn good. I still haven't made a ton of progress on marichyasana b but I finally managed to work out the jumpthroughs! They are still pretty shitty - my feet drag along the floor a lot and it feels like i'm jamming my legs through my arms rather than jumping through - but now I have a place to start and a clear path to progress. I spent a lot of time Tuesday night lying in bed visualizing the jumpthroughs and the very next day I achieved victory!
Larry Bird once said something really great about practicing shots in his mind, but I can't find the quote so who knows. I might be making it up.
I don't know if I'll try to go 5 for 5 next week, but I consider the experiment a success. The week has been a difficult road, but I think I learned something important about yoga and about myself - and I guess that is all that matters.
Last Sunday I made a goal to attend yoga class every day this week as an experiment. I wanted to see if I could really wake up at 5:15 five days a week while also practicing kung fu, commuting via bicycle, and working 8-9 hours every day.
Turns out that it is possible, but not pleasant. I have been constantly exhausted this week, I was sick on thursday, I have had a bit of shoulder pain, and somehow my jaw got strained. I have been drinking tons of coffee and have been grouchy in the evenings. I consider these to be growing pains.
On the other hand, the yoga has been damn good. I still haven't made a ton of progress on marichyasana b but I finally managed to work out the jumpthroughs! They are still pretty shitty - my feet drag along the floor a lot and it feels like i'm jamming my legs through my arms rather than jumping through - but now I have a place to start and a clear path to progress. I spent a lot of time Tuesday night lying in bed visualizing the jumpthroughs and the very next day I achieved victory!
Larry Bird once said something really great about practicing shots in his mind, but I can't find the quote so who knows. I might be making it up.
I don't know if I'll try to go 5 for 5 next week, but I consider the experiment a success. The week has been a difficult road, but I think I learned something important about yoga and about myself - and I guess that is all that matters.
Friday, June 17, 2011
The Curious Case of the Yogaman
After my yoga classes I generally like to take a few extra minutes getting changed and whatnot to rehydrate a bit and maybe chat a little with the other yogapeeps before I have to head over to work. It's nice to have a still moment in the morning. I usually finish up right at the same time that the Forrest class ends (what is that Forrest stuff all about anyway? whats the deal?) and all the women who take that class are pretty friendly and I even say hi to some of them. The women who take Mysore class all have longer practices than I do so I pretty much never talk to them.
Anyway, I was checking my phone and drinking some water this morning when I overheard the Forrest teacher musing with one of her students about why more men do not practice yoga. Naturally my curiosity was piqued, and the Forrest teacher said that while her classes are all female, her privates are all male.
hmm.. that sentence is funnier than i expected it to be...
At this point I chimed in and said that taking yoga classes is awkward for men for a few reasons.
1. Men don't want to look stupid and feel incompetent in front of a bunch of women.
I think that fundamental yoga stuff is easier for women than men as they are generally more naturally flexible, and people hate appearing awkward around people of their gender of choice. I don't think this feeling is unique to men.
2. Men are afraid of being seen as voyeurs.
Personally, I feel kinda awkward in a room full of lightly dressed women contorting their bodies. I do not check them out, except once in a while to O.O at some fancy posture or observe their vinyasa, but my fear is that all of them think "oh no. there is a man. he is looking at my boobies RIGHT NOW." I sometimes sacrifice the proper drishti so that women will not think I am checking them out. When I mentioned this, Forrestteacher and student were very surprised and said that the thought had never crossed their minds.
3. Yoga is for girls and girliemen. Real Men do Real Exercise.
I believe this is more a problem with marketing than anything else. The yoga market is extremely female oriented and advertisers market yoga products almost exclusively to women. I saw an ad once for EXTREME YOGA RAH RAH RAH but it was entirely unconvincing. On the other hand, I think the perception of yoga being purely about flexibility is unattractive to many men. Dudes don't see increased flexibility as increasing their sex appeal, whereas maybe doing boxing might score them some chicks, right? Girls like dudes with cauliflower ear, right?
Anyway, I was checking my phone and drinking some water this morning when I overheard the Forrest teacher musing with one of her students about why more men do not practice yoga. Naturally my curiosity was piqued, and the Forrest teacher said that while her classes are all female, her privates are all male.
hmm.. that sentence is funnier than i expected it to be...
At this point I chimed in and said that taking yoga classes is awkward for men for a few reasons.
1. Men don't want to look stupid and feel incompetent in front of a bunch of women.
I think that fundamental yoga stuff is easier for women than men as they are generally more naturally flexible, and people hate appearing awkward around people of their gender of choice. I don't think this feeling is unique to men.
2. Men are afraid of being seen as voyeurs.
Personally, I feel kinda awkward in a room full of lightly dressed women contorting their bodies. I do not check them out, except once in a while to O.O at some fancy posture or observe their vinyasa, but my fear is that all of them think "oh no. there is a man. he is looking at my boobies RIGHT NOW." I sometimes sacrifice the proper drishti so that women will not think I am checking them out. When I mentioned this, Forrestteacher and student were very surprised and said that the thought had never crossed their minds.
3. Yoga is for girls and girliemen. Real Men do Real Exercise.
I believe this is more a problem with marketing than anything else. The yoga market is extremely female oriented and advertisers market yoga products almost exclusively to women. I saw an ad once for EXTREME YOGA RAH RAH RAH but it was entirely unconvincing. On the other hand, I think the perception of yoga being purely about flexibility is unattractive to many men. Dudes don't see increased flexibility as increasing their sex appeal, whereas maybe doing boxing might score them some chicks, right? Girls like dudes with cauliflower ear, right?
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Manju II: Where's Manjtwo?
Today was my second and final session with Manju Jois and Greg Tebb... only except Manju wasn't there and it was just Greg. It was raining pretty hard as I walked from the Belmont redline stop to the shala. I got there right at 6:30am, pretty thoroughly soaked and saw Greg just as I was entering the Chicago Yoga Center. At first I was pretty excited; I'd be able to ask him a few questions about some injuries I have. As soon as we got into the elevator together, I remembered that I don't actually have any communication skills and any attempts at conversation would end terribly for me. At that moment in the elevator with him, my brain turned to mush.
Greg: Hello. You are here for yoga?
Me: Yes! And you are here for yoga too!
dumbass! of course he's here for yoga! Thats the only reason why he's in chicago! stupid!
Greg: ... Looks like you got your mat wet.
Me: Yeah, it's raining pretty hard out there.
really, fool? As if he can't see the rain or doesn't have rain where he's from.. idiot! No one wants to talk to you about the weather. Quick!! Ask him something else! Ask him if he lives in California with Manju!
Me: So, uh... do you live in Chicago? I mean... do you live in California?
What the hell, dude! Ask a question properly! He's going to think you're an idiot!
Greg: Oh no, I just go there sometimes to see Manju.
Me: ... ... oh...
Greg: ...
Me: ...
DAMN IT ALL!!!!!
So that marked my first interaction with Greg Tebb who seems to be a really great guy. After changing into my yoga outfit (no lululemon here, strictly Target!) I had finally managed to regain some semblance of rational thought. I asked him some questions about my wrists which give me trouble now and then. I had read online that he had practiced some martial arts in the past, and seeing as how my wrist issues are probably from punching chunks of wood for years, I figured he would be a good person to ask. He explained that sometimes the something something carpal something something tendons something something get bunched up or too tight or whatever. He told me to practice lightly when I have pain and to make sure i stretch out the forearms and wrists, and also to "gap my wrist" which is something that I learned a while ago when I was studying hapkido but I haven't really bothered to do. Good info! Thanks Greg!
At that point I just put my mat way in the corner and shut the hell up and started practicing. Much to my chagrin, my phone went off in the changing room right away. I dashed to my phone and shut it off. Fortunately no one else yet had arrived, so the damage was minimal. Practice went fine. He had some pretty nice adjustments that really helped me lengthen my hamstrings and had a couple good corrections on my Sun Salutations. I have some neck pain this week from being dropped on my head during kung fu on sunday (long story...) but today's practice really seemed to help. I took it easy in sarvangasana and all those weird shoulderstandy things in the closing sequence (karna pid, urdhva pada, pinda) and managed a pretty decent headstand as well.
Then, things took a turn for the worse. I heard a phone go off in the changing room with my exact same ringtone!!! Greg shot a look at me, and once again I ran to my phone to see why it had turned itself on and started ringing. To my relief, it wasn't my phone at all; it belonged to someone else. I went back and finished up my practice, but I then realized that Greg probably still thought it was my phone and I'm sure he was glaring real hard at me with his third eye. I finished up my savasana kinda quick and hastily left the shala so that he would realize the phone was still ringing and not mine. With my luck today though, I bet the phone turned itself off as soon as I left. :\
Greg: Hello. You are here for yoga?
Me: Yes! And you are here for yoga too!
dumbass! of course he's here for yoga! Thats the only reason why he's in chicago! stupid!
Greg: ... Looks like you got your mat wet.
Me: Yeah, it's raining pretty hard out there.
really, fool? As if he can't see the rain or doesn't have rain where he's from.. idiot! No one wants to talk to you about the weather. Quick!! Ask him something else! Ask him if he lives in California with Manju!
Me: So, uh... do you live in Chicago? I mean... do you live in California?
What the hell, dude! Ask a question properly! He's going to think you're an idiot!
Greg: Oh no, I just go there sometimes to see Manju.
Me: ... ... oh...
Greg: ...
Me: ...
DAMN IT ALL!!!!!
So that marked my first interaction with Greg Tebb who seems to be a really great guy. After changing into my yoga outfit (no lululemon here, strictly Target!) I had finally managed to regain some semblance of rational thought. I asked him some questions about my wrists which give me trouble now and then. I had read online that he had practiced some martial arts in the past, and seeing as how my wrist issues are probably from punching chunks of wood for years, I figured he would be a good person to ask. He explained that sometimes the something something carpal something something tendons something something get bunched up or too tight or whatever. He told me to practice lightly when I have pain and to make sure i stretch out the forearms and wrists, and also to "gap my wrist" which is something that I learned a while ago when I was studying hapkido but I haven't really bothered to do. Good info! Thanks Greg!
At that point I just put my mat way in the corner and shut the hell up and started practicing. Much to my chagrin, my phone went off in the changing room right away. I dashed to my phone and shut it off. Fortunately no one else yet had arrived, so the damage was minimal. Practice went fine. He had some pretty nice adjustments that really helped me lengthen my hamstrings and had a couple good corrections on my Sun Salutations. I have some neck pain this week from being dropped on my head during kung fu on sunday (long story...) but today's practice really seemed to help. I took it easy in sarvangasana and all those weird shoulderstandy things in the closing sequence (karna pid, urdhva pada, pinda) and managed a pretty decent headstand as well.
Then, things took a turn for the worse. I heard a phone go off in the changing room with my exact same ringtone!!! Greg shot a look at me, and once again I ran to my phone to see why it had turned itself on and started ringing. To my relief, it wasn't my phone at all; it belonged to someone else. I went back and finished up my practice, but I then realized that Greg probably still thought it was my phone and I'm sure he was glaring real hard at me with his third eye. I finished up my savasana kinda quick and hastily left the shala so that he would realize the phone was still ringing and not mine. With my luck today though, I bet the phone turned itself off as soon as I left. :\
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Thanks Manju!!!
Went to a 3 hour workshop session with Manju Jois, son of Pattabhi Jois. He led us through most of primary until Navasana, then jumped to Secondary and stopped at Nakrasana. I think there may have been some additional stuff after that but I was mostly too thirsty and my head was buzzing so I don't really remember it all that clearly. After that we did some nostril-plugging pranayama and then some hilariously inept Vedic chanting. Manju and his assistant Greg Tebb led the workshop together - Manju directing, Greg demonstrating.
Initially I had a lot of apprehension about going at all. Besides the cost (not cheap), I was concerned that the workshop would be over my head and that I would not benefit much. The classes that I go to are usually under 10 people, and to be in a room filled with what I thought was sure to be only the very best and most elite yogis that chicago had to offer was intimidating.
In the end, I decided that if I was getting lost or overwhelmed, I'd just kick back and chill until the closing sequence. Maybe everyone in the class would look at me quitting early and think "gosh that guy sucks real bad!" but I decided not to give a shit anyway.
I went into the workshop with the following goals in mind: to keep up as long as I could, to quit when I couldn't push anymore, and to not fart loudly at an inopportune time. No one likes a farter.
I'm glad that I decided to go as I realized most of my worries were unfounded. The average age was about 38, and most people started to look very lost and confused right around the Marichyasanas. Most of the people weren't extremely advanced, and I was probably in the bottom 10% of students. Not bad! I was sure I was just going to be the obvious beginner and the worst at everything always. Instead I was maybe the 3rd or 4th worst in a workshop of 30-40.
Also, I didn't notice anyone snickering at my poor performance since once the practice started I didn't have any time or mind left to look around and see what others were doing. A giant squid could have come walking through the room and got into a knife fight with greg and I would not have noticed.
I did notice a bunch of amazing things though.
The first amazing thing that happened was that I successfully bound all by myself on the left side in Marichyasana B. If I look at my old blogposts, it looks like I started Marichyasana B on March 23rd and have really been struggling with it. I have been binding in it with a ton of help from my teacher for a couple weeks, and I assumed I would not be able to bind at the workshop. I was half right. Right side - no bind. I felt as far from the posture as always. But on the left side, I just bent forward, reached my left arm around, and found the fingers on my right hand without any problems at all. amazing! maybe it was the heat or something, I don't know.
Also: I held Mayurasana for at least a whole second, maybe two. Mayurasana is one of those poses that makes me go O.O and I was surprised when I realized how easy it might be when (and if) I finally make it that far. I had never tried the pose before last saturday.
I'm really glad I went. I'm going to go to his Mysore class on Wednesday since it's a moonday (!?!?!) and my normal school will not have Mysore class.
PS: So in the past week or so I have been getting a ton of hits. Are you guys actually reading this? Let me know if you made it this far in the comments and I will try to have a funny yoga picture for you tomorrow, because i'm pretty sure thats the only reason people come here. I think people react to posts in two ways: "oh look, here's one of those yoga dudes! ha ha! He's so fat!" or "oh well, he just wrote some stupid shit again. maybe next time!"
EDIT: I forgot to mention that I put my foot behind my head for a brief moment!
Initially I had a lot of apprehension about going at all. Besides the cost (not cheap), I was concerned that the workshop would be over my head and that I would not benefit much. The classes that I go to are usually under 10 people, and to be in a room filled with what I thought was sure to be only the very best and most elite yogis that chicago had to offer was intimidating.
In the end, I decided that if I was getting lost or overwhelmed, I'd just kick back and chill until the closing sequence. Maybe everyone in the class would look at me quitting early and think "gosh that guy sucks real bad!" but I decided not to give a shit anyway.
I went into the workshop with the following goals in mind: to keep up as long as I could, to quit when I couldn't push anymore, and to not fart loudly at an inopportune time. No one likes a farter.
I'm glad that I decided to go as I realized most of my worries were unfounded. The average age was about 38, and most people started to look very lost and confused right around the Marichyasanas. Most of the people weren't extremely advanced, and I was probably in the bottom 10% of students. Not bad! I was sure I was just going to be the obvious beginner and the worst at everything always. Instead I was maybe the 3rd or 4th worst in a workshop of 30-40.
Also, I didn't notice anyone snickering at my poor performance since once the practice started I didn't have any time or mind left to look around and see what others were doing. A giant squid could have come walking through the room and got into a knife fight with greg and I would not have noticed.
I did notice a bunch of amazing things though.
The first amazing thing that happened was that I successfully bound all by myself on the left side in Marichyasana B. If I look at my old blogposts, it looks like I started Marichyasana B on March 23rd and have really been struggling with it. I have been binding in it with a ton of help from my teacher for a couple weeks, and I assumed I would not be able to bind at the workshop. I was half right. Right side - no bind. I felt as far from the posture as always. But on the left side, I just bent forward, reached my left arm around, and found the fingers on my right hand without any problems at all. amazing! maybe it was the heat or something, I don't know.
Also: I held Mayurasana for at least a whole second, maybe two. Mayurasana is one of those poses that makes me go O.O and I was surprised when I realized how easy it might be when (and if) I finally make it that far. I had never tried the pose before last saturday.
I'm really glad I went. I'm going to go to his Mysore class on Wednesday since it's a moonday (!?!?!) and my normal school will not have Mysore class.
PS: So in the past week or so I have been getting a ton of hits. Are you guys actually reading this? Let me know if you made it this far in the comments and I will try to have a funny yoga picture for you tomorrow, because i'm pretty sure thats the only reason people come here. I think people react to posts in two ways: "oh look, here's one of those yoga dudes! ha ha! He's so fat!" or "oh well, he just wrote some stupid shit again. maybe next time!"
EDIT: I forgot to mention that I put my foot behind my head for a brief moment!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
YogiToes
Had an extremely difficult and torturous practice this morning. Focus was terrible, breathing was terrible, I couldn't even bind in Marichy A, shoulder hurt, wrist was uncomfortable, and I managed to somehow jump back a little too hard and hurt my toe. Didn't really bother me at the time, but a few hours later I was sitting crosslegged and noticed redness on the side of my toe.yeah thats weird. hopefully this doesn't give me problems in the future.
I'm always terrible at yoga, but some days are worse than others. This was the worst.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
wow! i have followers!
So I never really intended for anyone to read this blog or see my little yoga dudes, but it seems that (four) people are interested so I'll try to keep the blog going a bit. No promises though. I have never really been able to maintain a blog. I get bored, and I suck at blogwriting.
I recently had big breakthroughs on two poses that I have been struggling with - Marichyasana B and Headstand. I don't really know if I can describe what's been going on with Mari B, but I would like to talk a bit about headstand.
I think I spent probably two months or so on headstand preparations before I could get my hips up, and then probably another few weeks before I could straighten my legs. Before any of that though, I spent about a month getting really really nervous. I really hate Matsyasana since it basically makes me feel like I'm going to cough out most of my trachea and throat, and was nervous that headstand would make me black out and die on the spot. I weigh a fair amount - more than most yogis - and I really suspected that headstand would mark my demise.
It didn't, though, and my teacher helped me conquer that fear one step at a time. She has been really patient and methodical in slowly introducing key concepts to my mind and body. I have been reading "Guruji" and something that many of the interviewees mention about Jois is that he would constantly ask his students "Why fearing?" This fear of self destruction that yoga brings is unique.
I have been training kung fu for about ten years, and spent one of those years with a master who was an extremely skilled and powerful martial artist as well as a raging alcoholic. In his fits of alcoholic rage, he would occasionally pick up a spear, hand me a sword, and say "defend!" This was extremely scary since while I understood he didn't want to injure me, I also knew that he was drunk and might be not as accurate but just as powerful as when sober. I looked fear right in the eye and luckily avoided impalement.
However, the kind of fear that yoga brings is completely different. I wrote a couple posts back about how kung fu is extrinsic in nature while yoga is intrinsic, and I think that applies to all aspects of the practice, including fear. It is one thing to face danger and adversity in the form of an external agent deliberately attacking you, and it is another thing to face adversity in the form of your own body or mind's visceral unwillingness to conform to the demands of the practice.
Anyway, headstand is great now. My neck and shoulders hurt a bit but I am slowly learning to relax. I am up to 25 breaths now, although I can't really say that I have that nice slow sonorous ujjayi yet. It's actually more like 15 breaths and then I start panting. oh well!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Yoga makes me feel like death
Yesterday I yoga'd for an hour and a half, went to work, then went to kung fu where i taught grueling basics for about an hour and 45 minutes. I woke up yesterday at 5:15am and didn't get home until almost 9. I collapsed in front of a pizza with The Fiancée and cat and was asleep by 10:30. I had never done both yoga and kung fu on the same day until yesterday, but since I missed yoga on monday I figured I better get my ass to the yoga school.
This morning I woke up again at 5:15, feeling like I needed about 3 more hours of sleep. Nevertheless, I forced myself to get to the shala on time and practiced for an hour and a half.
I worked through the Sun Salutations slowly but carefully, doing jumpbacks and jumpthroughs on the last three repetitions of each set of A and B. I usually just step back on the first sun salutation and then jump on the rest of them, but today I didn't really have the energy for all that nonsense. Standing postures went pretty well considering how tired I was.
It was during Sarvangasana that I started to feel my life seep from my lungs. It wasn't the normal headsplitting intensity that I am pretty accustomed to now - instead I felt like I was being deflated and slowly choked out. When I was in the variations of shoulderstand (Halasana, Karna Pidasana, Urdhva Padmasana, Pindasana) the sensation only got worse. It felt the way I imagine death feels - air and life just slowly exiting the body. At one point I think I even made a death rattle.
This will sound like an old tired phrase to experienced yogis, but yoga really does confront you with yourself in unique ways. Never before have I felt like death was so close. I've been almost choked out in brazilian jiu jitsu, taken some pretty bad hits in kung fu, and had some close calls while rock climbing, but this was something different entirely. Thanks for the lesson, yoga.
But it wasn't all death and dying! I received my next posture! Marichyasana B!
This morning I woke up again at 5:15, feeling like I needed about 3 more hours of sleep. Nevertheless, I forced myself to get to the shala on time and practiced for an hour and a half.
I worked through the Sun Salutations slowly but carefully, doing jumpbacks and jumpthroughs on the last three repetitions of each set of A and B. I usually just step back on the first sun salutation and then jump on the rest of them, but today I didn't really have the energy for all that nonsense. Standing postures went pretty well considering how tired I was.
It was during Sarvangasana that I started to feel my life seep from my lungs. It wasn't the normal headsplitting intensity that I am pretty accustomed to now - instead I felt like I was being deflated and slowly choked out. When I was in the variations of shoulderstand (Halasana, Karna Pidasana, Urdhva Padmasana, Pindasana) the sensation only got worse. It felt the way I imagine death feels - air and life just slowly exiting the body. At one point I think I even made a death rattle.
This will sound like an old tired phrase to experienced yogis, but yoga really does confront you with yourself in unique ways. Never before have I felt like death was so close. I've been almost choked out in brazilian jiu jitsu, taken some pretty bad hits in kung fu, and had some close calls while rock climbing, but this was something different entirely. Thanks for the lesson, yoga.
But it wasn't all death and dying! I received my next posture! Marichyasana B!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Yoga makes my shoulders feel great
For a few years now I have had some chronic pain in my shoulders. It would flare up about once a week or so, and it would affect one or both shoulders pretty severely. I don't know how it started, and I haven't really been able to pin down a specific cause for the flareups. I have tried a lot of stuff over the years - sleeping with my arms down, sleeping on my back, changing the height of my desk chair, ibuprofen, acetaminophen, chi gong, tai chi, physical therapy... the list goes on. I haven't really seen much improvement in my shoulders until recently.
When I started yoga, I noticed immediately that my shoulders hurt quite a bit in Adho Mukha Svanasana. At the time I thought that yoga might not be a good fit for me, but at the urging of my fiancée and yoga friend, I continued to trust the practice. The pain continued for about a month or so, until a yoga teacher was able to really pinpoint the flaws in my downdog and showed me how to use my back for stability instead of my arms. Since then, my shoulder pain has dropped dramatically. I feel like studying yoga has somehow rewired the tendons and muscles in my shoulder - almost like they have been reset to factory defaults after years of corrupt preference files...
Despite the terribly nerdy simile, the benefits to my shoulders have been profound and persistent.
I have started to notice some other rewiring as well. The beginning of the primary series really seems to work on opening up my knees, which after a few weeks of nonstop popping, really feel like they have been reset and tightened. My back seems to be undergoing a similar transformation at this time.
PS. I touched both palms to the floor in uttanasana over the weekend! First time in life! hi5!
When I started yoga, I noticed immediately that my shoulders hurt quite a bit in Adho Mukha Svanasana. At the time I thought that yoga might not be a good fit for me, but at the urging of my fiancée and yoga friend, I continued to trust the practice. The pain continued for about a month or so, until a yoga teacher was able to really pinpoint the flaws in my downdog and showed me how to use my back for stability instead of my arms. Since then, my shoulder pain has dropped dramatically. I feel like studying yoga has somehow rewired the tendons and muscles in my shoulder - almost like they have been reset to factory defaults after years of corrupt preference files...
Despite the terribly nerdy simile, the benefits to my shoulders have been profound and persistent.
I have started to notice some other rewiring as well. The beginning of the primary series really seems to work on opening up my knees, which after a few weeks of nonstop popping, really feel like they have been reset and tightened. My back seems to be undergoing a similar transformation at this time.
PS. I touched both palms to the floor in uttanasana over the weekend! First time in life! hi5!
Friday, March 4, 2011
Yoga makes me feel fat
Yoga is a wonderfully introspective practice. My fiancée told me once years ago that the difference between kung fu and yoga was that while the focus of practice in kung fu is extrinsic, yoga is entirely internal. I didn't really know what to say at the time, but now that I have been practicing yoga for a little bit, I realize she was completely right. Practicing yoga has made me start to perceive some of my physical nuances and also has made me slightly aware of the geography in my own body.What it has made me MORE aware of, however, is that I'm fat. Really really fat. Any time I try to bend or twist anything, there is my fat, all up in my face and causing me all kinds of problems.
dammit.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Yoga makes me feel pain
Before I started yoga in earnest, I had heard that yoga is a peaceful, calming practice that soothes your soul and warms your heart and makes butterflies pop out your ass and glitter shoot out your nose peace love unity yoga.
This is far from the truth. I find that some poses (actually, most poses, but especially Parivrtta Trikonasana) make my head feel like its about to catch on fire, and my limbs usually feel like they might just tear off. I am well accustomed to "good pain" and "bad pain", but this new yoga pain is something else entirely. Instead of feeling my limbs hurt or my muscles get tired, I feel like I might just explode.
See below:
This is far from the truth. I find that some poses (actually, most poses, but especially Parivrtta Trikonasana) make my head feel like its about to catch on fire, and my limbs usually feel like they might just tear off. I am well accustomed to "good pain" and "bad pain", but this new yoga pain is something else entirely. Instead of feeling my limbs hurt or my muscles get tired, I feel like I might just explode.
See below:
I suck at yoga
I started Mysore style Ashtanga Yoga about 3 months ago.
I really enjoy it, but I suck at it.
I really enjoy it, but I suck at it.
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